Love?

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful
Assalamualaikum

Title: I love you. Oh reallyyy?

Recently, a friend of mine had a break-up with her boy friend of 3 years. She was in tears, and felt  depressed. When she asked me for advice over the phone, I didn't really know what to say because for the whole seventeen years of my life, I have never been into a relationship. Yes, get that straight to your face. I have never been into a relationship before & I don't see why I ought to be ashamed of that. This blog post might sound rather aggressive and harsh. I see no point in beating around the bush so I might as well just get straight to the point. Hence pardon me if what I'm about to post, is going to hurt you in anyway, because the truth always hurts. This blog post, serves as a reminder for myself too.

Each time people ask me: Hey how many ex boyfriends you've got?

I'd go:  Zero. I've never been into a relationship before.

They'd say:  Woah? What a loser! You're missing out a lot in life you know! Aren't you going to ask me how many ex boyfriends I have? Come on, ask me! *giggles*

I'd reply sharply: Ex-boyfriends huh? Does having more than 3 ex boyfriends make a girl a lot more hotter/cooler etc? Nahh, I don't think so because I think it'll only make them look a lot more cheaper. & then when you are in a relationship, more often that not, you'd end up spending half of your day dreaming/fantasizing about your guy. And then to maintain your relationship with him, you'd make an effort to go out on a date with him and that is where you start to hold hands with him and would end the date with a peck on the cheek. Then comes the part were you would look into each other's eyes so deeply and longingly, and then you two would exchange extremely mushy words like I love you to each other, ever so dearly. Right. But the problem is, if you've had more than..say 3 boyfriends, I'd assume that you would have declared 'I love you' to 3 different guys already. & honestly, if I were you, I would no longer feel the value of 'I love you' anymore because I've confessed it freely to 3 different guys already. Doesn't this then make the term 'I love you' no longer special/precious anymore? Like hello? Yes hi, you over there? You get what I mean?

Sure & if you happen to read this, you might find my opinions rather extreme, close-minded, feminist, and you would prolly see me as a nerd, a sore loser, an ugly toad, a this, a that and the list goes on. But if you are a Muslim and you so happen to read this entry because it just so happened that you stumbled upon my pathetic blog, then I would like to urge you to spare some time pondering about this matter.

Dear young sisters in Islam, as Muslims, shouldn't we all desire for a halal-love instead? Do you not want to give your love to only one guy? That is, to the one who truly deserves it, to the one who could Imam you in your solats and to the one who will be guiding you towards jannah? You don't want that? No, you don't? Then what kind of a guy do you want? Okay so you want a guy who sets his eyes on girls who are sexy so that they could satisfy his lust? You want a tall, charming, muscular good looking guy despite an ugly attitude that he's got, just so that you could show him off to your friends? You call that love? If you DO, then you'd better think again.

Fine. As a teenager we tend to rebel and we tend to go against the rules and all. At this age our hormones are all raging and as we grow up, we begin to desire for attention from the opposite gender and so we'd begin dressing up nicely, and then put on thick make-up, in hope to attract the attention of the opposite gender. Some might question. If Allah had created us this way, if He had created us to have to go through this process of life(ie: the sudden want to be in a BGR), why then did Islam forbid us to be in a relationship before marriage?

My answer for that would be: Allah knows best and He knows whatever that is hidden in your heart. In response to the question above, well apparently He has set us some guidelines to follow; on how to not be in a BGR and among some of the guidelines includes things like, lowering your gaze, and to cover our aurat etc. Allah knows best doesn't He? It has been clearly stated in the Quran. Even so, that doesn't mean that a boy and girl can't communicate to each other at all, or face each other at all.
Allah have mentioned in the Quran that:

"Tell the believing men that they should reduce/lower their gaze/vision & guard their private parts"
(24:30)

"Tell the believing women that they should reduce/lower their gaze/vision & guard their private parts"
(24:31)

& then coincidentally, I found this video on Youtube. Dear friend, I just want you to know that hey, we're just a bunch of seventeen year old kiddos and this is definitely not the right time for love yet. And if you don't want a guys advances then in the first place, you shouldn't have done anything to earn them. Yeah, this may be a little hard but this is your after life that we're talking about. With that, I hope that you do get what I am trying to say over here. Segala yang baik itu datangnnya dari Allah dan segala yang buruk datang dari diri saya sendiri. I shall end off this post with a quote:

"A woman's heart should be so lost in Allah that a guy needs to seek Him in order to find her"

~ Save your heart, for the one who truly cares...