Fighting off the fire

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

Assalamualaikum

Title: Fighting off the fire

I've landed myself in a hugeee mess. True, although we have to believe in Qada' & Qadr, Allah has given us the option to decide what is the best for us. We can only plan, but He will determine the outcome of every decree. So here’s the thing.

Often as Muslims we are told to do one thing. But everyone around us is doing the opposite.
They seem so happy. Always smiling, laughing, having a great time. They seem like they have no problems. But beneath this outward facade, do we really see what truly lies below?

We are told that the only true relationship that can be sustained between a man and a woman, is through the form of marriage. And yet, we see our fellow muslim friends around us free to date, holding hands in the public, with no restrictions and no worries. They seemed so happy, don’t they? They post pictures of themselves, they advertise their relationships on facebook etc, and they are always smiling, always excited, and are always boasting about their other half to practically everyone in the whole wide world.

But then I asked myself. What happens when those relationships end? Hearts are broken. Feelings are hurt. What seemed so perfect suddenly turns viral, and worsens quickly. That eventually led to cutting, depression, and in some cases, suicide happens.

What happens when those BGR relationships go too far? When you have teenage pregnancies and children without parents? Abortion happens. Young teens getting kicked out of their homes, having to carry huge responsibilities down their neck they shouldn’t have to deal with, for years to come.

And yet, when you think about it, this all seems so extreme, doesn’t it? I mean, not every relationship gets broken. Not every dating teenager goes too far. These are all worst case scenarios, right? Yeah, I think we all feel that way at some point in time. And the thing is, people tell you, “well it could happen."

And that’s true. That’s very true. But usually, I find myself saying: I don’t have to worry about that. I’m better than this. I can control myself. And that may also be true.

& then, along came this ayat that brought me to remembrance. Well apparently, I was wrong. I was very, very wrong indeed.

وعسى أن تكرهوا شيئاً وهو خيرٌ لكم وعسى أن تحبوا شيئاً وهو شرٌ لكم والله يعلم وأنتم لا تعلمون

It is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knows and you know not. [Quran 2:216]

The situation that I've landed myself in, is like I'm sorta trapped in a small, cramped wooden shack.
Outside, the air is cool, the night is beautiful, the stars are twinkling in the sky. But inside, there’s a huge, roaring fire in the middle of the room. It’s licking the walls, it’s everywhere, it’s consuming the oxygen and turning the whole room orange. The fire doesn’t quite reach every corner of the room. So I assured myself to stay in the corner. The fire won't touch me, it won't burn me.

But as time goes by, I moved. & that was my biggest mistake. Because I've moved closer towards the fire. But thank God, I stopped just in time, otherwise, I would've been burnt in the fire. If I had moved an inch more, a centimeter more, or even perhaps a millimeter more, I'll get burned. & that burn will need attention. Medical attention. It will need time to heal. And that burnt scar, that scar will never go away. Ever.

Let's picture this from another angle. Say, had I not moved. I thought that I had this massive great amount of self control. Say, had I stood completely still in that little corner so that the fire won't reach me, did I think that I will still be safe from the fire? Obviously I was wrong. Because I will still be standing in that corner, all hot and sweaty, completely exhausted cos I had been putting in so much effort to fight off that fire, to remain save in that shack. & eventually, I will feel so exhausted that whatever fire that I've been fighting against, will seem worthless. Ultimately, I'll be so exhausted that I'll fall in the fire, burned. It will beat me. I will be burned.

So Susu, why don't you just leave the shack? You're playing with fire, silly. Just leave the shack, and peace shall be with you insyaAllah.

Period.