Sabar

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful
Assalamualaikum

الصَّبْرُ مِنَ الإِيْمَانِ.
Patience, is part of faith.

Define sabr.

Here's Mufti Menk's definition of sabr:
"Patience, is only a part of sabr. It is amazing and surprising how many people do not realise the extent of this word. Sabr includes forbearance, endurance, steadfastness, perseverance and restraint. All these terms together make the one word; 'sabr.' in the Arabic language"

That being said, it was only recently that I eventually began to realize about the importance of having 'sabr' in ourselves. Sabr has perhaps evolved into a mere 'common word of advice' that many would use upon themselves or on others (during a calamity), without truly understanding it's value by heart. 

Should we view sabr simply just as it is, or should it be viewed from another angle that requires greater critical thinking skills? If patience is part of faith, shouldn't we then regard sabr as a trait that is crucial towards the development of our faith? Where did the sabr go to?

'But I've been patient for too long!'

Then that, would put the question of sincerity into place. Here's what we all need to know (myself in particular); that in sabr, we need ikhlaas. Because without the ikhlaas, our claim for sabr', isn't truly a sabr at all. So again, where did the sabr go to?

Allah has mentioned in the Quran, to seek assistance using the following means:

"Seek assistance through sabr, through bearing patience, through restraining yourselves, and through prayer." [ Al Baqarah, verse 45]

Subhanallah. Key word (for me): prayer.

If we had maintained the istiqamah and sincerity in performing the prayer with much khusyoo', then our faith would be strengthened. With the faith strengthened, we would be able to accept any problems that we encouter through viewing it as qada' and qadr. And being able to accept our problems as qada' and qadr would definitely allow us to practice sabr with much ease. Wouldn't it? 

Sabr is a trait that needs to be instilled into every single human being alive. And for us Muslims in particular, we need to ensure that this trait, develops along together with faith. Without faith, it would be difficult for one to practice sabr. And if we don't practice sabr, what then...would be left of our declaration for true faith? 

'I tried. But to remain steadfast and patient in times of hardship, can sometimes be rather difficult.'

Yes my dear, I agree. Allah mentions in the Quran:

"Indeed, it is very difficult to do this, except for those who are pious, those who are humble, those who will adopt the laws of Allah s.w.t wholeheartedly, for them it will be simple for them to engage in sabr." [ Al Baqarah, verse 45 ]

But before one is able to practice sabr with full of ikhlaas, one must first know what hinders it from being developed in the first place. So as I pondered further, I asked myself. What makes it so difficult? What makes it so difficult for sabr, to be instilled into our spiritual self? I recalled back to the days where sabr was never a part of me, and with Allah's will, I found the answer.

Ego.

Ego makes it difficult, for sabr to shine through. Do we truly understand, about the true nature of ego? Ego, is the part of us that loves power. Ego, is kept alive solely through the stories we tell ourselves about life, and through the stories we tell ourselves, about others.

Ego, if not handled properly, may become a means of how we make sense, of our own identity. Would you fancy the idea of building your self-concept, through ego? Will that build good akhlak?

Here's an example of an ego-monologue:

I'm better at this job, than he is.

He was at fault, I don't see why I should apologise.

& when no efforts are being made to reduce the ego-monologue, it becomes a continuous process. We'll derive to the thinking that our identity must be continuously reinforced (through the ego monologue that we make of others), or we'll lose sense of ourselves. Naudzubillah man!

Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah mentioned:

''From the signs of bliss and success is that a person, as he grows in learning, he grows in humbleness and compassion. As he grows in works of faith, he grows in fear and vigilance. As he grows in age, he diminishes in greed. As he grows in wealth, he grows in generosity and giving. And as he grows in strength and status, he grows in drawing closer to others so as to serve them and help fulfill their needs."

"From the signs of misery is that a person, as he grows in learning, he grows in pride and conceit. As he grows in works of faith, he grows in boasting; belittling others; and having an inflated opinion about himself. As he grows in age, he grows in greed. As he grows in wealth, he grows in stinginess and miserliness. And as he grows in status and standing, he grows in vanity and arrogance. All these matters are trials and tribulation from Allah by which He tries His servants. Through it, He makes some happy and blissful, while others are made wretched and miserable.''


With ego, we constantly want to put ourselves at a higher status than others. And when a conflict arise, we'd lose our sabr easily. When being ridiculed at, when we become the topic of a gossip etc, we'd lose sabr. Why? Because ego, gets in the way. We always want things to go our way. So with ego in the way, will there still be room for sabr to bloom?

Quoted by Yasmin Mogahed:
"Allah knows we have ego, nafs. Allah knows that these traits drive us. But Allah tells us that He is closer to us than even these. So when we reach for other than Him, we are not only reaching for what is weaker, we are also reaching past what is closer, for what is further and more distant."

Ego is a form of nafs, that Allah has given to each mankind. But here's the beautiful thing, along with ego, comes a variety of ways that we can adopt, to handle the ego within. ie: through the Quran, and zikrullah. Start small, kill the ego with zikrullah. Renew the shahadah, believe in qada' and qadr. And insyaallah, 'sabr with ikhlaas' will then slowly enter our inner soul. Let's practice sabr, in all that we do. Insyaallah.

So there you have it.
To obtain sabr, we must first learn, to kill the ego within.

The soul still seeking for peace,
Suhaidah Amran