Grief

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful
Assalamualaikum

Title: Grief

"You know the feeling when someone tries to bring up your past? Your past that you're trying so hard to forget. Your past that is still haunting you up till today. Your past that was filled with sins. Your past; that particular time of your life when you were so far away from Him? Thinking of your past, the sins and mistakes you've committed. You're trying so hard to bury your past deep down the ground, but somebody just had to rake up about your past, using it as a weapon to hurt you. It hurts. It hurts so bad."
[ Ukhti Maghfirah ]

And so, in great distress and grief, I cry. At a solemn time like this, there is only one place that I'd like to be at; I want to be at the state of sujud. And then like a little girl I'd cry on the prayer mat, until my eyes go dry. There is this extraordinary feeling that I get, each time I do that. It's like my whole burden gets lifted up for a while and the heart feels at peace; as though it is being purified. Knowing that I've cried for something that was worth it; my mind becomes clear, my eyes start to see better. And with the mercy of Allah swt, everything starts to feel easy, and I feel motivated once again. Subhanallah. Get a hold of yourself, and be strong for this too, shall pass. Truly, the life of this world is so short and it's treasures are few.

And if Allah touches you with hurt, there is none that can remove it but He. And if He intends any good for you, there is none who can keep back his favour. He brings it to whom he pleases of His Servants, and He is the Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. -Surah Yunus; 10:107

The soul still seeking for peace,
Suhaidah Amran