Sincerity

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful
Assalamualaikum

Title: Sincerity

Ya Allah, jika aku menyembah-Mu kerana takut kepada neraka-Mu,
maka bakarlah aku di dalam neraka-Mu itu.

Dan jika aku menyembah-Mu kerena mengharapkan syurga-Mu,
maka campakkanlah aku dar syurga-Mu itu.

Tetapi, jika aku menyembah-Mu demi Engkau semata-mata,
janganlah Engkau enggan memperlihatkan keindahan wajah-Mu yang abadi padaku.

~ Rabiah Al Adawiyah ~


And that gives me peace. Reading that gives me peace. I mean, it should be giving me peace shouldn't it?  And I realised that, I could never have her courage, to make such a doa' to Allah. How much of an effort would you make, to have what you want?

We pray five times a day. We do charity(zakat). We fast in the holy month of Ramadhan. We do Jamaah prayers in the mosque. We recite pages and pages of the Quran. We attend religious classes. We did so many of this and we did so many of that. Why? Because we're Muslims. But at the end of the day,  there is just this one particular question that have been running in my mind, for quite some time now.

What is it that I hope to achieve, out of my 'ibadahs? Am I performing my fardhu prayers daily without fail, just so that I could secure myself a place in His Paradise? Am I doing charity, just so that I could get His blessings in whatever that I do? Am I reciting the Quran, just so that I could gain more rewards from The Almighty? Am I attending religious classes, just so that I could get myself a certificate in Islamic Education so that I could show it off to the whole wide world? Or have I actually been doing all these things just purely for the sake of doing it?

Have there ever been an instance, where I do everything, solely, purely, sincerely and entirely because of Allah only? Ustaz was talking about the differences between riya' and ikhlas' yesterday and boy, they really left a huge impact on me.

Riya' means; to perform acts which are pleasing to Allah, with the intention of pleasing others but Allah. Righteous deeds, if they are performed with ulterior motives for worldly gains, and to show off etc, will be transformed into deeds which are unacceptable to Allah.

Ikhlas means: it literally means sincerity. Sincerity is an attitude of the heart, and Allah views an individual according to his or her heart’s inclination.

I couldn't sleep a wink last night, as I thought about my doings on Earth; my ibadah's in particular. Have I been sincere enough? Did I develop any feelings of riya' while I'm carrying out my ibadahs? And when I carry out my ibadahs, who am I really trying to please?

Tepuk dada, tanya iman. So jom sama-sama bermuhasabah diri.