The Ugly Duckling

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful
Assalamualaikum

Title: When He Said My Friend Was Ugly

3 years ago; I was in this class once. It was a teens  a.l.i.v.e  madrasah class. We were having our free period because our Ustazah still wasn't in class yet. Seated next to me was....well this sister. I don't really know her that well. I knew almost nothing about her, except for her beautiful name. But despite all that, I would still acknowledge her as a friend; although we hardly talk.

Wait a minute. It's not that we don't talk. It's just that, when I talk to her, she wouldn't reply much. And she's not arrogant either because she still would give me a smile each time we bump into each other. She just wouldn't talk much. Oh well, let's just put it this way. She's just someone, who is very shy.

I remember her as someone very quiet, and didn't participate much in class. The sister was very modest. She wore a hijab, and I hardly see her dressed in pants. She would either come dressed in a jubah, and I observed that most of her oufits were that of a loose fitting one. Her hijab, was so beautifully done. It's a large scarf, that covered her shoulders, her back, and her bosoms. I remembered that clearly, because the other girls didn't wear the Hijab, the way she does. & that includes me. Then, I was only 14 and I was still new to Hijab, and I couldn't really get the front part of my Hijab pointed up nicely.

Unlike the other girls who were wearing hijab, this particular sister didn't have her hoop earrings sticking out. She didn't pluck her eyebrows. She doesn't giggle around the boys. & she is not one of whom I know, would talk about the latest hip-hop song that was out. She was soft-spoken, and wasn't as loud as those girls. Her hijab covered her chest. She didn't try to get the boys attention. She didn't wear eye-liner and heavy lip gloss like the rest of the girls.

So, on one very unfateful day, a couple of boys next to us were talking about girls. I think they were talking about hooking up with some girls from the class next door, and they were asking each other who they would like to hook up with. Among the boys, there was one boy who was very loud.

That boy, mentioned that sister's name to his friends. It was a cruel joke and the boys ended up laughing out loud. I was so angry at them and I wished I could have just kicked him in the balls, and then give him a tight slap right across his 'oh-so-handsome-face' and then flush him down into a toilet bowl.

That was just how furious I was. But I didn't show them my anger openly of course, for fear of being ostracised in class. So anyway, back to the story.

As soon as the name was mentioned, the boys started screaming and shouting in protest. It was in malay, but I am translating their screams and shout-outs here, in English.

" Eww! Shut up, shut up! "

" Haha! Eww man, dont play like that! "

" Eww, her?! "

" Yo, she got a messed up face ! Her face is messed up! "

Everyone in class heard that. Of course the sister had heard that as well. Some of the boys were laughing. & I think, even some of the girls were laughing along as well. Everyone else was laughing, but I remained quiet. I was dumbfounded.

During the silence, I noticed that the sister was crying. She was crying, and she had her face covered with her hands. She tried to be as quiet as possible, but I heard her sobbing. She hunched her back, put her head down as low as it could have gone, and wept silently. When I looked at her face, there were a lot of tears.

One of the boys noticed that she was crying. & the only words of comfort he had for her was:

" Yo, just chill. Just chill. Relax, we were just kidding. "

The most awful part of the story is that, the boy who humiliated her in the class was also a Muslim. I stared ahead with a black expression, and then looked at him.

" Yo, just chill. Just chill. " He repeated.

Now that I recall, I wish I had said something. Even if I didn't have the courage to stand up to those awful lot of boys, I could have at least said something comforting to that sister. Or perhaps, give her a little hug. But what is the whole point of regretting? I was amongst one of those teenagers, who wanted to fit-in. I was amongst one of them, who wanted to be regarded as 'the-cool-one'. I wanted to feel like I belong, but obviously, I was WRONG.

It is sad that the sister who dressed the most modestly, got dismissed in class as being ugly. May Allah make all her affairs easy. I don't know how she is now because I quitted that class not long after that. I hope she's doing well now. In this ignorant society today, we are fooled to think that the women who are lacking modesty is valuable.

That is partly the reason why, I hate putting on make-up. A little bit of powder on the face will do, but don't tell me to put on the eyeliner, blusher, or lip-gloss etc. Just the thought of make-up, irks me a lot. Which is why, I prefer going out, looking as natural as I can be. But having said that, it doesn't mean  that woman who puts on make-up, are a sinful lot. No, it's not that. Don't get me wrong. It's just that, if I were to put on make-up on my face, I don't want the feeling of arrogance to build up inside me. & the whole point of me writing this, is not to tell the whole wide world, what an innocent, pure, angelic young lady I am. No, it's not that. Truth to be told, I don't want me to be walking down the streets with a little voice in my head saying things like:

" Hey people! Look at me. Oh come on, look at me. Look at me! Look at what a great beauty I am."

" Ohmygawd. There's a hot guy over there. Is he harbouring thoughts of having me as his girlfriend?"

" Haha. Good gracious me. That lady, is so ugly. & why is she staring at me? I bet she's jealous huh."

Weird? Yeah, but that is what happens, to most woman when they think, that they are pretty. And no I'm not kidding, because during my period of ignorance, I find myself to be behaving in such a manner too. These in all, adds up to the sickness of the heart. Which is no good! So in conclusion, I'd like to end all this, with a short message.

My message to all:
Dont ever in your life get fooled to think that the value and worth of a woman is in her beauty. The true value of a woman rests in her level of eeman & taqwa and good deeds, not in her
transient worldly earnings.

A woman's heart should be so lost in Allah, that a man needs to seek Him, in order to find her.