My Battle

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful
Assalamualaikum

Title: My Battle

If Allah is all you have, you have all you need. Oh Allah, cleanse my heart of the sickness of arrogance and pride and let me die as one of the sincere, humble Muslims. At this moment, I feel a little lost. Facebook is tormenting me again. It has got nothing to do with any of my contacts in Facebook; so don't you worry about that. It's just that when I looked through at my profile, my photo albums, my status updates, my wall posts and all, I feel a little weird and uneasy.

One minute, my status on facebook could be something that is of a random one, and than the next minute it would be something related to Islam. I like to pen my thoughts down on Facebook status but sometimes, I think I do get a little overboard. I sometimes whine & I complain on Facebook. But I don't do that on a regular basis though. Or do I? Allah, what was I thinking?

& then comes the album section. I privatised most of my albums; especially those that has got tons of pictures of me in it. One moment, I would privatise them & then the next I would be showing it off to the world. Goodness me. What in the world was I thinking? Am I just not 'zuhud' enough? Allah forgive me.

I got to admit that it is sometimes hard for me to balance between duniawi & ukhrawi. Let me tell you, it is no easy task. Especially when you come from a full time secular based school, like me. But then again, what would life be without challenges? At times, I wonder. If only my parents had sent me to receive education at a full-time madrasah, then perhaps by now, I would be able to read, write and converse in good Arabic already. Perhaps, I would be able to recite the Quran well with the perfect tajweed. Perhaps I would be a better Muslimah. Okay, this part about being a better Muslimah, I know it might sound biased to some because you don't necessarily have to be in a full time madrasah to be a good Muslimah.Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. If only, if only, if only.

Oh my Allah Susu! You really deserve a tight slap right across your face! Did you forget about a hadith that explains a little something about having regrets? We all have regrets in life don't we? How many times have the thought of something like ''if only I could turn back the time, I would've done this and this" came to your mind? I remember an ustaz sharing a hadith that is related to this, a few months back. It's kinda relevant to the situation I am in right now. Perhaps, I shouldn't whine too much and carry on with this battle. Dear readers, will you please pray for me? Jazakallah!

Abu Huraira reported Rasulullah(PBUH) as saying: Seek help from Allah & do not lose heart, if anything in the form of trouble comes to you. Don't say: If I had not done that, this would not have happened. But instead, say: Allah did what He had ordained to do because your ''if'' would have opened the gates for the Satans.