Facebook Almost Killed Me

In The Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful
Assalamualaikum

Topic: Letting go of Facebook, For The Sake of Allah

For the past month, I've been sleeping really late at night. Like really really late. Say between, 1am - 4am ? I was hooked on facebook. If I don't stop going on facebook as of from now, dots dots dots. But when I recited the Quran after Isya' today, I pondered about my doings on facebook. Because of facebook, I would rush through the rakaats in my prayers, sometimes not even bothered to make a doa'. Because of facebook, I would perform my prayers a lot more later than the fixed timing. I don't feel the khusyuk-ness throughout performing my solat at all. I don't feel close to Allah. I felt empty. I was behaving like a munafik! What was i doing?! Astaghfirullahalazim.


Moving on to my Saturday Morning Quran Recitation Class;I promised my Ustazah T that I would memorise up to line 65 for Surah Yasin, for the coming test, this Saturday. But unfortunately though, I've only memorised up to line 59. I was complacent! TOO complacent in fact. My ustazah had a lot of faith in me, because I am among one of the most fastest memoriser in my class. But recently, I think I've not only let her down, but I've let myself down too. I've not even done her arabic writing homework. Oh Allah, forgive me. I've forgotten my responsibilities as a student, and as a Muslim. Please guide me through this. *cries*


Now, back to the facebook issue.You see, I've got lots of people visiting my profile and I couldn't just possibly deactivate my account without letting my contacts know. They might've thought that I had blocked them or something. So, I've put the notice up on my status to let them know that I need to do some soul searching for the time being. To my surprise, B commented on it. He was still on the issue about the article. When I saw his comments, it really hurts. I almost broke down into tears. May Allah forgive him. I immediately deleted his comments, and deactivated my facebook without any second thoughts. I was fuming mad but it was a good thing that I had it under control. Otherwise, I would have long flushed down my laptop into the toilet bowl.


What are the benefits of having a facebook anyway? Okay true, you get to keep track of your friend's updates, you get to reconnect with your old classmates etc, but besides that? Oh like getting attention from people through your status updates? But then, shouldn't we strive to get attention from Allah instead? That's what we should really be doing. Right, fine. Call me kuno, an extremist, close-minded or whatever. Be my guest, call me whatever you want. But if you really look at it, why waste our time living in the virtual world that's just so full of pretense? It's the reality that we should be more concerned about. Anyway, ni semua dunia je lah beb! Heh heh.


Something to ponder about. It gives me the chills.
Sabda Rasullullah S.A.W: ...Jika mereka tahu, maka sudah tentu mereka akan kurang ketawa dan lawak berjenaka. Tetapi, mereka akan lebih menangis.

It sounds something like that, but I couldn't recall the exact sentence.
Slipped off my tiny brain.

In conclusion...
Letting go of facebook would mean that I'll spend LESSER time on the internet, and would have time for me to do some healthy exercise,to keep both my body and mind fit! At the same time, I get to recite the Quran. The best part is,I'll get to perform my prayers on time, with khusyuk without rush. It's a sacrifice that I have to make, for the sake of Allah. InsyaAllah. Pray for me will ya? (:


So as of from now...

I'd like to keep facebook out of my life temporarily. I've got to HEAL myself. I'm going to HEAL myself. I've got to!


Ya Allah...
Forgive me for my past sins.
I was jahil as I drifted away from You.


Ya Allah, but now...
I'm trying to start my life anew.
I'm trying to heal my heart from the feeling of riya'. 
I'm striving to upgrade my level of iman towards You.


Ya Allah, please...
Guide me out of this darkness.
And show me the way to the right path.


Ya Allah,
I hope to be a better muslimah so that my iman towards you will not degrade,
I hope to be a better daughter for my parents
I hope to be a better sister for my sibling
I hope to be a better friend for my sahabahs
and I hope to be a better servant of Yours.


I'm praying for Your light of Hidayah. 
I just want Your love, and that is all I am looking for...

Ameen ya-rabbal alamin... 

Yeah well, you might the topic in the blog entry rather extreme, traditional, close minded, lame and whatever. But seriously, I think Facebook has taken away too much of my time, including my ibadahs. I kinda feel sinful. Oh man. ):
P/S: With my parents support and advice, I am now back on facebook. And if you would like to add me on facebook, send me an email of notification to suhaidah94@hotmail.com because I have set my profile in such a way that people won't be able to search for me on facebook, whenever they type my FB name or my email add on the facebook search engine.