Niqab For Me?

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful
Assalamualaikum

Title: Niqab For Me?

I've always looked highly on muslim ladies who wears the Niqab. I salute them and I really respect them, like totally. Because you see, it takes a lot of courage for a muslim lady to wear the Niqab.  And when people see them, some would laugh and stare and call her a ninja. They'll think that she's crazy and depressed. But despite all that, they still could carry on with their life happily; not the slightest bit bothered by all those name-callings and glarings from passers by. Their boldness, and their courageness, is something I figured, that I could never have.

Recently, my mum and I had a small conversation about this whole Niqab thing and what that took me by surprise was when my mum suggested that perhaps, I should put on the Niqab too one day. Although mum mentioned that it was just a passing remark, I would still say no to Niqab. Well, for now at least. I said no because I wasn't prepared and besides, isn't it good enough that I am already Hijab-ed? The Niqab, isn't made compulsory for all women to wear right? On a side note, if I really were to go Niqab-ed one day, I'll look a little something like in that picture above!

 I'm sorry Mum. But if I were to put on the Niqab, I think it'll do a great damage to my self-esteem. All those stares and glarings from passers by and all, will only really make me feel uncomfortable. Besides, I don't think that my level of eeman is that constant yet.

Some women put on the Niqab because they're too beautiful to be seen by man. But, I am not even that close to the term pretty, so why should I even put on the Niqab? And, I don't think that I am pious enough to be in a deserving place to have that piece of cloth covering the entire of my face; if I don't even practice what I preach.

But, the idea of going Niqab, hit me again today due to a short conversation that I had, with an unknown aunty earlier on, at Assyakirin Mosque today. It was after isya' prayers, and this was what that happened. She really scared the toot-toot train out of me.

Unknown Makcik: Anak ni cantik lah. Mak ayah mana? Sorang je ke?

Me: Oh, mak ayah kat rumah. Kenapa? Ya saya sorang je...ada class kat atas.

Unknown Makcik: Anak ni dah kahwin ke? Nak kahwin tak?

Me: Huh? Err, saya masih sekolah lagi. Alamak cik, saya sakit perut lah! Tompang ke tandas dulu ya. Assalamualaikum! *runs off*

Ni confirm plus chop, makcik ni datang masjid nak cari calon menantu. Aiseyman, just my luck.

Why? Why? Why? I don't want to sound like a complete bitch down here, but I really feel uncomfortable when someone tells me that I'm pretty or beautiful because I don't consider myself to be one. Despite all that, alhamdulilah, syukur lilah and all praises be to Allah because I've been blessed with a face that has got no deformaties. A perfect set of eyes, a perfect pair of ears, a perfect set of dimples, a perfect nose, a perfect mouth. A perfectly normal face.

But when she used the term 'cantik' on me, it left me a little frustrated. Did she choose to ask me this question about marriage over the rest of the girls, because she finds me pretty? What am I? A merchandise? Because if that is the criteria that every mother-in-law looks for in a daughter-in-law, then I'd rather choose to stay single for the rest of my life.

I sound rather extreme down here, but I really am clueless to why this whole issue is affecting me this much. Oh, and back to the idea about going Niqab. I think, I might drop that idea about putting up the Niqab because the Hijab will do for now!