Marhaban ya Ramadhan

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful
Assalamualaikum

Title: This might be my last Ramadhan

And just like that, half of 2011 is almost gone. Indeed, 2011 has been the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. It's a historical year for me. So many beautiful memories have been created and these are definitely the memories that I would remember for the rest of my life.

In 2 days time, we will be welcoming the blessed holy month of Ramadhan, with open arms and wide smiles upon our faces. May Allah allow us to greet and exhaust ourselves with acts of 'ibaadah in Ramadhan, and consequently in the months to follow.

Before I take my deep plunge into the month of Ramadhan, here's a little something that I would like to share with you about. During my period of ignorance(jahiliah), I would say that I have never really looked forward to Ramadhan at all. The thought of having to wake up in the wee hours of the morning for Sahur and then the thought of having to abstain ourselves from food and drink all day long, really just irritated the hell out of me.

When I was 12, I remembered how I hid in the girl's toilet during recess time and got one of my chinese friend, to get me a bottle of mineral water from the school canteen, for me to drink. I was so cheeky back then.

When I was 15, although I was able to abstain from food and drink, I couldn't stop complaining about how hungry I was or how thirsty I was to my friends in school. Each day during the month of Ramadhan was like a physical and a mental torture for me. And I think I hardly recited the Quran back then. And I even harboured thoughts like; if only I was a non-muslim, then I wouldn't have to go through this torture.

Now at 17, when Allah has opened my heart to what is truly Islam, and what Ramadhan is all about, I learn that there is more to Ramadhan than just abstaining ourselves from food and water. There is more to that. Alhamdulilah. And now, I am greeting this blessed month of Ramadhan with one definite thought:

This, might be my last Ramadhan.

It is not a negative thought; rather it is the spark that sets me off to further improve myself. I mean you can never know, whether you'll be blessed with yet another year of life to welcome the next Ramadhan. The remembrance of death is a motivation, that ought to spur us to increase our acts of worship towards The Almighty.

Dear brothers & sisters in Islam, allow me to take this opportunity to seek for your forgiveness.

If I have ever hurt you in anyway, either through my mannerisms, or by how I look at you,
please forgive me.

If I have ever fallen short in fulfilling your rights upon me as a sister or brother in Islam,
please forgive me.

If I have ever disappointed you or not lived up to what is expected of me (esp toward my mum & dad)
please forgive me.

If I have ever shown despicable adab or akhlaq towards you,
please forgive me.

If I have ever made you forget Allah S.W.T & his beloved S.A.W with my presence,
please forgive me.

If you owe me money and you have yet to return the right amount of sum to me,
I'm letting it go and I will not claim it from you during the Day of Judgement.

On the contrary, if I owe you money and or have in my posession something that belongs to you,
please claim it from me but if I do not live to greet Syawal, you may claim them from my family.

If there are things between you and I that have been left unsaid, and it is important,
please tell me.

Ya Allah, forgive us all Ya Allah.
Forgive me for my shortcomings and till we meet again in the next Ramadhan insyaAllah.

Let's treat this Ramadhan as though it'll be our last.

And before I end this post, I have a favour to ask of all of you.
Will you please keep me in your prayers? [=

Ramadan is the month of ibaadah, not a month of festival, that we waste in buying iftaar & prepare delicious food for whole month. Roam for the whole night eating delicious food & shop for Eid. Beware, this could be the last Ramadan to some of us, or many of us. Let's strive for the best in this Ramadan 2011. Ameen Allahumma Ameen.