Nafsu vs Iman

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful
Assalamualaikum

Title: Nafsu vs Iman

I asked myself:
What do you want to achieve in life Suhaidah?

My heart said:
Serve Him; obediently and sincerely.
Lead your friends and family to His path; so that you could meet them again in Jannah.
Excel in ukhrawi and duniawi; if you want to get the best of both worlds.

The devil said:
Life..it's all about having fun. Go have fun...go have fun...go have fun.

I asked myself:
Hows your relationship with Him so far Suhaidah?

My heart said:
It's still far. You're not even near to close. You gotta do something about it. He's watching you ALL the time.

The devil said:
Girl, you're only seventeen. You're still young. Give it a rest. You can always repent later.

I don't know what is wrong with me lately. My heart is always at unrest and it is beating faster than it usually does. I tried to calm myself down by reciting pages and pages of the Quran for 2 hours straight non-stop; only to find myself crying at the end of my recitation. And when I did my doa' to The Almighty, I realised that, there is just so many things that I want to share with Him but I just can't put my thoughts into words and I ended up crying like a sadist on my prayer mat instead. Allahuakbar. )':

The Holy Prophet Muhammad s.a.w has advised his followers to: "Turn to Allah. O people, offer repentance and seek forgiveness. I myself offer repentance to Allah a hundred times a day. [ Imam Muslim ]